Nurturing Not Grasping

by

If you’ve done meditation consistently (and my guess is you have), you know that in time things happen. You have insights, you feel different, there’s something there. Oh sure you read about it, you hear about it, but then it happens. You’re a better person for your meditations and it’s kind of a shock.

I mean you kind of hoped for it, but then you’re different. It’s real, it’s not sayings and advice and poems and words. You feel different and the you that feels is different.

But the question is: what’s next? This is something I’ve read several times in my Taoist studies, and I wanted to share some thoughts and insights from my own meditations. I’ve had those moments of insights of “shifts” where you’re a little bit different and you know you’re on the path. There’s something in you that is different, it’s better, but then what?

You can’t seize these moments, these changes, and hold them. You can’t force them to happen, which I think is frustrating to many. If you’re a meditator I’m sure you’ve been here. I certainly have, where a very solid change falls apart when you grasp it.

First, a thing I find helpful to remember is that it’s the meditation that brings you here, those moments of mind resting on breath, the flow of energies, or what have you.. You can’t force these changes, can’t push them but you can keep up the practice that makes them possible. The positive changes you experience are due to the practice making them possible.

The changes you experience – “Signs” is what I’ve seen it called in my Taoist readings – are indicators you’re doing well in meditation. Keep going with the meditation.

But those moments of insight, of feeling better, of feeling aligned, of feeling there’s something in you that’s better? Another useful idea I’ve seen in Taoism is the idea of nurturing and guarding. Taoist writings talk about how one may experience a “seed,” have “the elixir,” develop a “spiritual embryo” and so on at various meditative stages. These are not things to be held or grasped, but guarded and nurtured.

Whatever positive changes (and whatever symbolism you might use for them) you want to nurture them. Not grasp, force, hold, but gently nurture. The exact nature of that may depend on your level of meditation and spiritual path, but it takes gentle work to maintain those “positives.”

I find these are usually a combination of things. Recognizing that you’ve experienced change due to meditation. Maintaining meditation. Understanding behaviors that support these positive changes – ethical and social cultivation.

You also want to avoid destroying these evolutions – guarding them.. This may again be making behavioral and social changes, dietary alterations, and consideration for how your choices affect you. You might even get some insights into how your bad habits harmed before.

I think this is why the physicality of Taoist ideas helps me. Imagining carefully brewing an elixir, nurturing a spiritual embryo, “moving to the center” and so on resonate with me and obviously several thousand years of practitioners. It’s easy to imagine guarding and nurturing a physical thing.

I hope in your practices that you have these changes, these moments. I hope you can maintain your meditations. And I hope you can guard and nurture what you find.

Plus if you want a deep dive into Taoist symbolism, I got some books to recommend . . .

–Xenofact

For We Are One On The Journey

by

When it comes to religious and spiritual interactions, we’ve all experienced both deep connection and deep conflict. I’d like to talk about the connection, specifically how is it that we can connect with people on seemingly different spiritual paths? I’m sure we’ve all experienced something like that, where there’s a theological disconnect, but a deeper connection anyway.

In 2026, I find this question even more relevant. I find myself in agreement with the Pope despite being neither a Christian and having some problems with the Catholic Church. I find myself in sync with Christians sincerely protesting monstrous behavior. I am, as noted, a theist in my own way, but also have many friends who are atheists and we think a lot alike.

I mean I’m a Taoist and syncretic neo-pagan, so my beliefs are inclusive, but still, it’s interesting to see people I feel accord with in a time where religious conflict is oft present. It’s also nice to feel that accord.

So I find myself asking why we have this sense of sibling-hood. I mean I’m glad for it but why does it exist?

I think it’s a question of the sincerity of the journey.

Whatever your spiritual starting point, some people are on the quest. They want to figure out what’s going on. They want to be better people. They want to tune in to the Big Picture. There is something bigger than them, and they are going to do their best to find it.

This also means they start by taking their spiritual path seriously – and that’s actually a good starting point. You have to start somewhere and give it a try, you have to hold to your principles to find out what they mean and ask really hard questions. We’re often asking the same questions on the journey, and facing stark reality.

There’s a camaraderie in this, of all we people on the journey. We don’t start from the same place, we aren’t necessarily in the same place, but we’re all trying to figure “it” out. We can all relate to the journey. We can appreciate that someone cares.

But also everyone on that journey also have places of similarities. We ask the same or similar questions. We’ve faced the same or similar spiritual crises. We’ve probably had similar experiences in spiritual readings and research, even if we’re not necessarily in agreement.

Almost certainly out of these we’re going to find similar values. We’ve asked the questions, done the research, and in many cases come to the same conclusions. I don’t believe there’s some secret perennial philosophy created by an ancient civilization waiting to be rediscovered – but I believe there are similar conclusions we always keep coming to. Also maybe we should listen to those conclusions, because we keep forgetting them.

We’re all on a journey, all trying to figure it out, and our conclusions are often hard-won and surprisingly similar.


There’s a camaraderie in all of this. A similarity because we’re all on a journey.

I keep thinking of the TV series Babylon 5, a show I was a deep fan of back when it first ran. The Episode “Grail” in Season 1 sees a religious seeker come to this space station in the far future, seeking the Holy Grail. An alien ambassador notes her respect for a person on a mission that others may see as mad – a sincere seeker hoping for healing and regeneration for people. I appreciate that message, and I think it illustrated what I found.

Who is my sibling? Someone else on a journey like me.

–Xenofact

Notes On The Ecosystem

by

I’ve referred to cultivating an “Ecosystem” of thought and relations as part of spiritual practices. The idea is that your practices embrace the “big picture” of your life, tying parts of it together. I figured I’d exposit my current methods here to see if they help folks out.

Part 1: Regular Readings

First, each day I read two passages out of a copy of the Tao Te Ching and may move on to other works. This regularly means I contemplate useful teachings regularly, in small amounts, constantly reinforcing my philosophy and keeping me thinking. Taking regular time to really ask “what does this mean and what did I learn” is quite helpful in keeping to “The Big Picture.”

Secondly, I read about one Hexagram from the I Ching, a sprawling body of divination, advice, and philosophy on the 64 different “Changes” of the world. I have several analyses of the I Ching and regularly cycle through them to be exposed to different ideas. Each day then I contemplate a “Change” in the world and what people have written about it. This grounds me in larger thought related to Taoist ideas and again keeps me thinking.

Plus, there are some amazing analyses of the I Ching. One, the Tao of Organization, is basically the I Ching of organizations and managements, and as a Project Manager, that gets me thinking.

None of these take a huge amount of time. There’s something about having a “pause to think about how it comes together” that’s not overlarge I find helpful.

My Advice: Read a little bit of an important philosophical/spiritual work a day as the break and contemplation is helpful but not overwhelming. Also read something that gives you that “Big Picture” sense – it may be mystical/philosophical like the I Ching, or perhaps a work on history or culture that has convenient “bite sized” chunks.

Part 2: “The Harmony”

A more recent thing I’ve taken to doing is reflecting each day on how the different aspects of my life connect. I write this down in my meditation notebook once a day, and I review different “levels” of my life. I reflect on how I’ve done, what I learned, and maybe what I can do better. Here’s the way I do it.

“Celestial Harmony” is my name for reviewing my life on the mystical and archetypical level. This has two parts.


First, I reflect on the gods. This means I reflect on the huge principles that matter to me, those living parts of the universe that mean something to mean and that I connect to. This may be thankfulness, acknowledgement of the roles in my life, and so on. This helps me understand how I connect to the larger forces in the world.

Secondly, I reflect on values that are important to me. To make this easier I adopted a system from the Chinese Five Element System, analyzing how I did in the “Five Virtues.” Thus I take a moment to ask how I did to embody Righteousness, Benevolence, Wisdom, Propriety, and Trustworthyness. This is not a system I know a lot about, but it worked with my regular readings, and I decided to “wing it” and see if it helped – and it did.

You could probably do this in religious or secular ways. The key thing is to recognize the “big elements” of your life and specific values and review them.

“Social Harmony” is the next thing I analyze. How did I do connecting with people, supporting friends and family, performing my social roles, did I learn anythin,g and so on? I look at things that are both chances to do better and what I have done well.

I found this most useful as I didn’t realize a lot about how social I was. There are times I felt both social and also wanted some “me” time and now I realize I didn’t realize how much socializing I was doing. Quite useful.

Psychology is the last part. I sit down and ask how my mental state is, any issues I dealt with, learned about, did well, or things I can do better. This is usually pretty practical, but also ties to all of the above reviews.

Plus if there’s any issues I want to work on, I can look at progress.

My Advice: Try these daily reviews. Don’t be hard on yourself, but I find it very useful. Thinking from the cosmic and timeless down to specific neuroses is illuminating.

So, Give it a Try

I hope these practices give you some good ideas. I recommend giving them at least 3 months of practice to see how they work out for you. It gives you time to get it right, find what works for you, and see what lessons pop up. For me, It really helps with the “ecosystem” of my life, connecting my spirituality, philosophy, and psychology together. I hope the advice helps do the same for you.

And give me a write to let me know what you’ve learned.

–Xenofact