Keeping That Notebook

In my meditative and mystical practices, I’ve tried to figure the best way to keep notes. I’d keep notes, but it was a pain to review them. I’d try to type them up and of course end up with a pile of notes that I’d have to search to make any use of. I’d also feel bad about this.

At the same time having records to review is very useful. You want to look at what you experienced. You want to improve your meditative techniques. Writing it down helps out.

But then there’s the other problem of writing things down to keep records. YOu might get caught up in your records, have too many expectations, try to force experiences. Once you get notes you can review, you can end up getting obsessed with those.

As you can tell, I think about this a lot. OK, I overthink this a lot. But here’s a technique I’m currently trying that may help you out. I use this for meditative work, psychological improvement, and some mysticism.

Try this out.

ONE. Get a notebook. I like one that’s of a good size. Actually buy a few so you don’t have to run back to the store all the time. Have a pen with it at all times.

TWO. When you sit down to engage in your spiritual practices, write down the date, what you did, and any lessons learned. I “star” things I really want to remember next time I meditate. If you do several practices give them their own page.

THREE. Every time you sit down to engage in your spiritual practices, look back at your last entry, especially the “starred” entries. You might look back a few days if you need to.

FOUR. After doing this for awhile, you’ll accumulate certain “practices” for your spiritual work that help. Create a list and then every day, before practice, write it down again for that day. You may update it or tweak it as you go. You might even remove items or consolidate them.

I found this hits a sweet spot. I sit down and review past learnings. I restate best practices. I keep notes that I’ll review the next date, and maybe improve my best practices. It’s a last-time review, a helpful checklist, and a chance to reflect.

It’s also not burdensome, or overly complicated, or leads to a pile of notes I don’t know what to do with. Instead I have a regularly reviewed (and thus remembered) checklist and some useful notes. I carry forward the best and most useful of what I’ve learned, and by writing it down again and again I remember it as well as contemplate it.

As for writing down and recording more detailed guides and information I am experimenting with that. It’s still in the experimental stage, and I have some success in trying writing up a “short guide” for breath meditation and updating it now and then. But I’ve not done all the things I want to do yet, but as I persist, hopefully I will. My major challenge is the dread of sitting down and trying to write “everything” down. However just writing up this column gives me ideas, so we shall see.

But my own challenges aside, the above method is one I recommend you try. A nice daily review and best-practice list should be easy to start. Besides, I want to hear your experiences!

Xenofact

The Loop

I’ve been analyzing desires and obsessions lately as well as how we deal with them. I’m coming to the conclusion that some of the ways we deal with our obsessions end up fueling them. The poison isn’t the medicine, but the poison and medicine feed back into each other.

You think you’ve avoided negative thoughts by shifting to positive ones? Not necessarily.

I started coming to this conclusion two ways.

First, in my energy work, my own Quigong/Circulation methods (you know the ones I discuss carefully since such practices can backfire). Part of that practice is ensuring energies flow smoothly through the body, whether you consider these esoteric energies real or just a metaphor for awareness and relaxation. Such practices make you aware of how your body works, of when you are tense or loose, and how mind and body affection each other.

What I noticed was that, when dealing with stressful situations and ruminations, even when I turned to supposedly pleasant or virtuous thoughts, the tensions remained. In a few cases it would seem even if I’d directed my mind elsewhere, these supposedly more healthy thoughts made it worse. How could I get more tense despite having less negative thoughts?

In terms of Energy Work, it was like I’d have a loop of energy running around in my brain, powering negative thoughts – obsessions, fears, etc. But when I cultivated supposedly positive thoughts, it’d be just another loop. I’d play over something supposedly benevolent over and over, but I was still stuck in a loop.

(This is why, as I have noted, anatomical spiritual models are useful to rethink ourselves).

Secondly, as I noticed these tensions and such, I was analyzing the way my mind worked, supported by my breath meditation. Classic mind-on-breath/breath-on-mind meditations are important, as I’ve held forth on, but one useful side effect is awareness. Now I’m not saying you want to sit down to meditate with that as your goal (in fact, seeking is a barrier to meditation) but hey, enjoy the scenery on the trip

One thing I had noticed in meditation was how loops in my thoughts would work. It was easy to notice a bad habit, but also easy to try to replace it with a good habit. However, when you did that, you’d end up just leaping from habit to habit. Good or bad, obsessions are obsessions and habits can be for good or ill.

I also noticed that I could bounce between one or the other. Either way you got into a habit of looking to have a habit. Trying to get out of a negative obsession with a positive one was still an obsession. In a way you were creating a rut in your mind, and no matter what was in that rut, you would still be in a rut.

No matter the model I used it was pretty apparent – you can get into various negative psychological loops, and you could replace them with positive ones, but were still in a Loop. The two played off of each other.

That was quite a revelation as I had often found ways to cultivate positive habits and they were easy to use to replace negative ones. But the negative ones kept coming back. I had in short, worn a rut in my mind (or my energy channels) that was still there no matter what filled it.

Since that understanding, it’s helped me deal with emotional loops. I can recognize them and I have a metaphor (multiple metaphors) to understand them. I can cultivate habits to step out of the loops and just relax more in general. It’s also a reminder that it’s easy to think you have solved a problem, but are reinforcing part of it.

An emotional loop is a loop no matter how good it feels or what problem you think it solved. I’m also glad to everyone whose work and writing has helped me in meditative practices, they’re why I can see it.

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The Joy of Cultivation

In my various Taoist-infused spiritual meditation. There’s something I noted in both my own experience and in the writings of different teachers, sage, immortals, and weirdos – that there’s a real joy in self-cultivation.

Meditation. Ethical contemplation. Dietary improvement. Self-analysis. Reading and informing oneself. There’s a real pleasure in all of it that I saw in everything from Taoist mystics to Confucian intellectuals to mystics and magicians. I get this, and it’s a joy I think more people could appreciate.

My meditative work, both breath and energy work, help me explore myself, develop myself, understand myself. It’s like refining a metal, gradual work as something beautiful emerges. I sit down and tune my breath and rest mind, or circulate energy, there, in touch with myself – even when a distraction frustrates me at least I’m there, alive.

My meditative work is also about skill development. Tuning that breath and attention. Being aware of the flows of energies. Every day is a chance to improve that skill, every day I’m a little bit better (well, statistically) at what I do.

My meditative studies are fulfilling. To read documents thousands of years old, to analyze symbols and translations, informs me and connects me to others that laid the foundation for me now. Wrestling with symbolism may at times be frustrating (notoriously so in Taoist alchemy) but it is also connecting and energizing. I’m there, understanding, relating, and going “what the heck” just as people have for thousands of years.

I also work on my ethics, my place in society because you can’t escape that – being human. I may be a mystic of sorts, but it’s not in a monastery – indeed I’m of the mind that self-cultivation is best directly in human society if you can handle it. It may be more challenging, but it’s also fulfilling as I am in direct contact with people and can learn more quickly.

My ethical studies and interests also, again, connect me to others. I can discuss with other people so included to self-cultivation, but I also connect with past writers as I read their books. There is something about reading advice from a thousand years ago that is relevant to today that is illuminating and connecting. There’s also something about trying to be a better person and really figure out what to do in this world.

(And at times frustrating, as you’re realizing how many a human problem hasn’t changed. But it’s a frustration that connects me to another frustrated person of centuries ago!)

My mystical work, prayer, theurgy, also connects me to the bigger picture. To think of gods, of the great forces of the world (however abstract or embodied you prefer) is to think of the way the world works. It is to think about the powers that are and what your role in all of it is. It is to ask “where am I in all of this?”

Of course there is the Tao, and it’s hard to discuss the contemplation of that, of the Big Picture. But you get the idea.

And of course there’s questions of diet and ethical diet, of proper use or non-use of certain substances, and so on. That joy of cultivation, of becoming better, connects you to so many things. Even when those things are questioning if you should down a glass of rum (my preferred alcohol) or not.

There is a joy in this cultivation.

This is something I also think is important to modern times – if I may be so bold, needed. Making being actually better part of your life. Not what’s expected, necessarily. Not what’s trendy. But of getting real.

Maybe, as I write this, that’s a joy I should share more. But I suppose writing this is a good start.

Xenofact