Keeping That Notebook

In my meditative and mystical practices, I’ve tried to figure the best way to keep notes. I’d keep notes, but it was a pain to review them. I’d try to type them up and of course end up with a pile of notes that I’d have to search to make any use of. I’d also feel bad about this.

At the same time having records to review is very useful. You want to look at what you experienced. You want to improve your meditative techniques. Writing it down helps out.

But then there’s the other problem of writing things down to keep records. YOu might get caught up in your records, have too many expectations, try to force experiences. Once you get notes you can review, you can end up getting obsessed with those.

As you can tell, I think about this a lot. OK, I overthink this a lot. But here’s a technique I’m currently trying that may help you out. I use this for meditative work, psychological improvement, and some mysticism.

Try this out.

ONE. Get a notebook. I like one that’s of a good size. Actually buy a few so you don’t have to run back to the store all the time. Have a pen with it at all times.

TWO. When you sit down to engage in your spiritual practices, write down the date, what you did, and any lessons learned. I “star” things I really want to remember next time I meditate. If you do several practices give them their own page.

THREE. Every time you sit down to engage in your spiritual practices, look back at your last entry, especially the “starred” entries. You might look back a few days if you need to.

FOUR. After doing this for awhile, you’ll accumulate certain “practices” for your spiritual work that help. Create a list and then every day, before practice, write it down again for that day. You may update it or tweak it as you go. You might even remove items or consolidate them.

I found this hits a sweet spot. I sit down and review past learnings. I restate best practices. I keep notes that I’ll review the next date, and maybe improve my best practices. It’s a last-time review, a helpful checklist, and a chance to reflect.

It’s also not burdensome, or overly complicated, or leads to a pile of notes I don’t know what to do with. Instead I have a regularly reviewed (and thus remembered) checklist and some useful notes. I carry forward the best and most useful of what I’ve learned, and by writing it down again and again I remember it as well as contemplate it.

As for writing down and recording more detailed guides and information I am experimenting with that. It’s still in the experimental stage, and I have some success in trying writing up a “short guide” for breath meditation and updating it now and then. But I’ve not done all the things I want to do yet, but as I persist, hopefully I will. My major challenge is the dread of sitting down and trying to write “everything” down. However just writing up this column gives me ideas, so we shall see.

But my own challenges aside, the above method is one I recommend you try. A nice daily review and best-practice list should be easy to start. Besides, I want to hear your experiences!

Xenofact

The Joy of Cultivation

In my various Taoist-infused spiritual meditation. There’s something I noted in both my own experience and in the writings of different teachers, sage, immortals, and weirdos – that there’s a real joy in self-cultivation.

Meditation. Ethical contemplation. Dietary improvement. Self-analysis. Reading and informing oneself. There’s a real pleasure in all of it that I saw in everything from Taoist mystics to Confucian intellectuals to mystics and magicians. I get this, and it’s a joy I think more people could appreciate.

My meditative work, both breath and energy work, help me explore myself, develop myself, understand myself. It’s like refining a metal, gradual work as something beautiful emerges. I sit down and tune my breath and rest mind, or circulate energy, there, in touch with myself – even when a distraction frustrates me at least I’m there, alive.

My meditative work is also about skill development. Tuning that breath and attention. Being aware of the flows of energies. Every day is a chance to improve that skill, every day I’m a little bit better (well, statistically) at what I do.

My meditative studies are fulfilling. To read documents thousands of years old, to analyze symbols and translations, informs me and connects me to others that laid the foundation for me now. Wrestling with symbolism may at times be frustrating (notoriously so in Taoist alchemy) but it is also connecting and energizing. I’m there, understanding, relating, and going “what the heck” just as people have for thousands of years.

I also work on my ethics, my place in society because you can’t escape that – being human. I may be a mystic of sorts, but it’s not in a monastery – indeed I’m of the mind that self-cultivation is best directly in human society if you can handle it. It may be more challenging, but it’s also fulfilling as I am in direct contact with people and can learn more quickly.

My ethical studies and interests also, again, connect me to others. I can discuss with other people so included to self-cultivation, but I also connect with past writers as I read their books. There is something about reading advice from a thousand years ago that is relevant to today that is illuminating and connecting. There’s also something about trying to be a better person and really figure out what to do in this world.

(And at times frustrating, as you’re realizing how many a human problem hasn’t changed. But it’s a frustration that connects me to another frustrated person of centuries ago!)

My mystical work, prayer, theurgy, also connects me to the bigger picture. To think of gods, of the great forces of the world (however abstract or embodied you prefer) is to think of the way the world works. It is to think about the powers that are and what your role in all of it is. It is to ask “where am I in all of this?”

Of course there is the Tao, and it’s hard to discuss the contemplation of that, of the Big Picture. But you get the idea.

And of course there’s questions of diet and ethical diet, of proper use or non-use of certain substances, and so on. That joy of cultivation, of becoming better, connects you to so many things. Even when those things are questioning if you should down a glass of rum (my preferred alcohol) or not.

There is a joy in this cultivation.

This is something I also think is important to modern times – if I may be so bold, needed. Making being actually better part of your life. Not what’s expected, necessarily. Not what’s trendy. But of getting real.

Maybe, as I write this, that’s a joy I should share more. But I suppose writing this is a good start.

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It’s All Grasping

Lately I’ve been contemplating several psychological phenomena I see in my meditations and self-analysis. The funny thing is the more I look at the different problems we face – and that we address with meditation, psychology, and spiritual pursuits, it all seems a whole lot alike. In a way that seems very familiar. It’s all grasping.

I have talked before of what I call The Escape Capsule, that place in our heads and minds where “we” hide. Where we run away from things. Where we think we’ll be safe, but we are not safe, and our “we” is ephemeral.

I’ve talked of the Place of Death from the Tao Te Ching, where we hide, where we cut ourselves off from life, and where we usually seal our fate by being so disconnected. We can’t move through the world and flow with it, we can’t respond, and we fail. I noted it was a lot like The Escape Capsule, if not the same.

In contemplating Desire, I’ve seen how I have habits of mentally grabbing or seeking certain things. I’ll latch onto something, some urge or thought, and my mind is engaged in everything from rumination to playing with mental puzzles. In fact, my mind seems to want to have something to grab onto – I imagine you’ve been there as well.

All three of these things I’ve analyzed over time- and named, are reflections of one simple thing – Grasping or Craving. You know, what Buddha warned us about explicitly in his Four Noble Truths, and what everyone else warned us about. Buddha though really brought it to the surface with his gift for specific organization, so game recognizes game.

Needing a separate self, needing to wall it off (in a way that ruins it), and just craving really are the same thing. We’ve got all these grabby complexes in our heads, burrowed into our habits and even our physical postures and tensions, that are active. They also end up backfiring and making us miserable if they solidify too much.

Desire and fear, hiding away and reaching out, it’s all the same, grasping. You can feel that in the tension in your neck, in the worry running around your brain, in the obsession that makes you stare at the cigarette or angry email in horror. You’re stuck in the machine, and the machine is what you thought you were – and thought you enjoyed it sometimes.

As we get reminded, craving, what makes us suffer, is the problem. But this is a reminder it has many faces. The desire that torments us, the cutting off we create, the attempts to escape – they’re all the same.

This is where I get thankful for the legion of sages, therapists, mystics, artists, writers, and so on that keep reminding us that being alive isn’t the same as grasping, or having, or running away from danger. It’s being alive, flowing like water, present, there. That’s what meditation and therapy and so on are about in the end – seeing, understanding, but most importantly being there and being real in the midst of it all.

It’s all been said before, but I’m glad people keep saying it.

Xenofact