I’ve written here about my thoughts and opinions on the mystical – religion, magick, and the like. What I haven’t done is share experiences I’ve had. As you can surmise, I’ve had them, and had ones that stood up after examination – I just don’t like sharing them.
I wanted to explore why, and the hope that it provokes dialogue, dear reader – with you and with myself.
First, such mystic experiences are to an extent personal. They’re intimate things involving gods, personal motivations, and personal insights. Sharing such things feels, to be honest, rather cringe as people younger than I say. It’s like blogging about your marriage or when your friend confided their insecurities.
Second, I dislike the idea of sharing mystical experiences as it sounds like bragging – and the esoteric community has no shortage of annoying braggarts and grifters. I don’t want to show off, I want to share and learn and have a few laughs.
Third, I fear being misinterpreted. The realm of the mystical is not easy to communicate, and the bullshit out there makes it even more of a challenge. I’d rather not accidentally lead someone down a painful path, and I’ve made my own mistakes. Let’s just say I take Quigong much more seriously after what we shall call “an incident.”
Fourth, I sometimes wonder if I can explain mystical things properly. I have notes on my experiments going back about 25 years. But I have to translate them from “me” to “other people and sometimes I’m not sure what I wrote down.
Fifth, let’s face it, all experience is incomplete. My mystical experiences, even well-explained, might not actually be useful. That might lead to people misinterpreting as well.
And, finally, I’ve seen plenty of drama among communities of magicians and mystics, and I want no part of it. This also means I’m pretty bad at finding fellow practitioners, something I hope to remediate – but I don’t blame myself.
So that’s it. Still, I think I should start sharing some of what I’ve done, and I am seeking appropriate ways to do so. I will doubtlessly do some here.
Maybe I’ll share some of what happens here – but in a non-cringe way, of course. I hope.
– Xenofact