taoism

The Dialog

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In my readings on Taoism, I often find them relaxing. Beautiful metaphors about flowing water. Kind advice on remaining calm. Plenty of (mostly) gentle humor. Above and below it all is the idea of the Tao, of the ever inflowing and outflowing reality.

Then of course real life hits. The car needs work. You’re having a panic attack over a sore tooth. A co-worker has suddenly quit and you get their work. All of American politics since 2016. The above lovely words are just words when stress kicks in – unless you put them into practices.

Yet at the same time, that idea of the Tao sits there. When we meditate or engage in internal alchemy or psychological investigation, there’s something there. We work to develop and refine ourselves, the walls come down just enough we’re there with something greater.

In my readings and meditations – and coping with stress – I found a concept that helps me better connect with the world, with the Tao, that I call The Dialog.

When speculating on a stressful situation, something stuck in my mind – that the situation was really a dialog. Yes, there were potential concerns, but those concerns prompted adjustment. In fact the concerns led to the very changes that would mitigate the concerns. It wasn’t a conflict, it was a harmony, like a discussion among people.

The more I thought about this I saw how much of life was a dialog, a constant interplay of information, a conversation. Driving a car. Adjusting your diet. Moderating difficult work situations. Talking people down – or talking people up. We’re always navigating.

Even we ourselves are a dialog. This idea adapts to that idea. This experience leads to new discoveries and adjustments. We’re not who we once were – because we’re a conversation. That conversation might be an annoying passive aggressive argument, but we can change the kind of conversation.

Thinking of life, even in stressful situations, as a dialog helped me feel more connected to life – and more alive. I was always in a dialog with life, with my life, with my environment. I was always adapting, always changing, never solid, just alive.

This also helped me understand the ever-elusive Tao of Taoism better. You can’t grasp it you, you can’t point at it, you can’t speak of it. But when you realize life is an ever-swirling dialog you’re a bit closer to it because you’re not trying to define, you’re being.

Life whirls and circles, alters and changes. You can’t settle on any one point or place and say “this is it” – and the concept of The Dialog helps you not settle down or try to claim one part of the world as permanent.

I’ve taken to asking myself each day how I’ve used this concept of The Dialog and it’s been extremely helpful. It’s a nice way to review how I use a useful idea – or when I could have.

So next time you feel off, feel a little “too solid,” feel a little conflicted, think of how you’re in a Dialog. You’re learning and reacting, the world changes and react, and if you’re open, you can navigate to places you want to go (even if you may not know you want to). You might not just feel better, but you may feel a little more connected to everything.

–Xenofact

Giving It A Go

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Part of my larger meditative/spiritual practice is to ensure my development and explorations are on “all levels.” There’s breathing, there’s mysticism, and sometimes there’s just having a healthy meal. At one point in earlier 2026 I was thinking about how I aligned with people since social interactions are so important to us. I mean yes I worked to play a role in society, help people, etc., but I wanted a way to evaluate it.

I wanted a touchstone to provide a quick way to evaluate my behaviors and choices. A kind of exercise/health routine for the social soul as it were. Fortunately the choice was obvious.

I picked the Five Virtues from various Chinese practices. Since I had heard of them due to my interest in Taoism, I had some vague familiarity. Since they were part of the larger idea of the Five Elements that pervaded a great deal of Chinese thoughts, I had references. Thus each day I’d reflect on Truthfulness, Righteousness, Wisdom, Benevolence, and Order. And, yes I’ve seen different translations and takes on them, so I took a go at finding the best take I could.

(I should note these are also part of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Though I think TCM as a whole has virtues, many a cure or treatment has not been scientifically validated and some are disproven or questionable.)

What I did was take a look at myself, go “I need a quick checklist for my social roles,” grabbed something I was vaguely familiar with, and ran with it. That was it.

Now that may seem a little sudden, perhaps even shallow to just sort of go “gonna use that method of ethical thought” and take off with it. I mean these are deep social principles, these are Virtues with historical significance and baggage. Can I take thousands of years of thought and just go for it?

Actually, yes I can.

The key thing here is that I had to start somewhere. I wanted to find a way to look at my ethics and social interactions. I didn’t want to kick the tires on a bunch of methods, I wanted to start. The point in fact was not to find the best (if that is possible). The point was to get going so I start thinking and work things out over time.

And thus I took something that I knew I could start with and had sources on. In time I learned more, read arguments, found some interesting opinions, and looked at many a conflicting set of thoughts. I also found plenty of shallow or entry-level takes. But also I got thinking and thinking about myself and making changes in my life.

I looked at other works on ethics and compared them. I thought about the arguments among Taoists and Confucians over if Truthfulness was core or Benevolence was (guess who I sided with). Throughout it all I kept asking about myself, my behavior, my principles – and yes, I got up to some wild and weird comparisons because I’m me.

Did it “work?” Well, yes in that I feel I have a way to think about myself and what I do. Will this be the way I evaluate myself for the rest of my life? I have no idea, but I got going and I’m pretty sure I’m a better person.

That’s something to remember in all our spiritual and ethical and mystical practices – you have to get going. Maybe it’s slow or it’s fast. Maybe there’s some study or you come out hot out of the gate. But you have to actually get to doing it so you can learn and do and be better.

You might even find out you’re wrong about a choice. I might decide there’s a better way to map my ethics than picking up what I had lying around. But I got moving and that’s what matters in our practices to be more of who we are and can be.

–Xenofact

The Adventure Of Enthusiasm

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I want you to follow that thread of enthusiasm.

When I was a teenager, I read Huston Smith’s “The Religions of Man.” That was my introduction to Taoism (and to Huston Smith’s biases). Years later I read the Tao Te Ching, and several analyses, and knew there was something there. Later I discovered more documents translated by Thomas Cleary, and got into both the deeper philosophies and Taoist mystical practices. Then I kept going.

I discovered other authors – Wong, Roth, and more. I read more books on Taoism, both on techniques but also religion and history. I began to get a greater sense of Chinese history and culture.

Early Taoist writings often contained arguments with Confucians. So I read the Analects, and discovered Confucius and his crew weren’t quite the sticklers you’d assume from Taoists and honestly some historical Confucians.. I read the Mencius and found him a charming fellow. My understanding of Chinese history and culture deepened.

Then as the Internet Age continued, I realized I this piecemeal knowledge of Chinese history involved printing and writing, and that meant it might help me understand the impact of communication changes. I took up reading about the early age of print in China, and found it to provide excellent parallels to the internet age. The evolution of language, disruption of systems, decrying pornography, new opportunities – history in China held echoes of today.

Of course through out this I also took an interest in the history of China as a bureaucracy. I’m a Project Manager and I kept finding people like myself – organized weirdoes – throughout Chinese history. I even found China arguably had the first ever management magazine for professionals, printed on silk, a story I still share to remind people folks like me have always been here.

Then, realizing I knew so little while talking to a friend who did traditional Chinese arts, I read Sabrina Knight’s “Chinese Literature,” from the Very Short Introductions series. That filled in a number of gaps in my knowledge and understanding of China, connecting the elements I had to something much larger. It also introduced me to even more interesting historical figures and works to read.

Who knows what I’ll learn next? I’ve even considered getting a B.A. degree just to do it.

I followed one thread in my teenage years on and it led me to mystics and bureaucrats, printing presses and imperial records, and to a deeper understanding of myself and humanity. In fact because of my Taoist interests, this very column wouldn’t exist without me picking up a book in the family library and reading on.

I want to exhort you to follow the threads of your interests. You never know where they’ll lead, so see what happens. You’ll enjoy yourself, you’ll connect ideas, you’ll get an intimate understanding of some part of the world.

-Xenofact